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Clandestine

I never pictured me to be a
clandestine lover who has to wait
until the dark
to hold a hand
While people around sing
love songs of all ages.

We still lie there in
window strained moonlight
shadows of coconut trees rooting
Our shadows in this city, where we
rode across old men preserving
every ounce of culture
they could find.

Liquid music flowing off our faces - didn't we dance
in the corner of the club
away from other drunken friends where
caucasian prostitutes lurked and found
some middle aged men.

The city denies desire to us
Condemns the want of touch.
It fears the dangerous ideas that are
born within people who are the
Bastard children of society.

But we must weave our beauty not in
ritualistic silk strands or in the camphor
burning out of every sacred doorstep.

We must clasp all beauty
until the break of the dawn
when ladies with their brooms -
sweep truths of the night
out of their houses
to the roads.

Some who wants to see us still will
rub ash on our heads
But we will live still - a legal secret
right here - where we were
meant to develop denial.
The garbage heaps and cats don't care.

Water clogged from rains last night
needs somewhere to drain into -
but the sea is surging so high -
there is nowhere to go.

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लाल वस्तू

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angry

my grandmother used to spot in us a hereditary anger the chest learning to well up blood learning to leap and breath learning to crawl foreheads burning with heat of little children the attempt of anger to become disgusting raging energy that will occupy every living stream. nobody wants to hold an angry person rage drunk, getting bigger and bigger until other people are invisible like ants and you can dissolve them in your hot blood and things around you break and shatter at this point she would hold. a violent hand shaking her away Ya I remember my grandmother used to spot it in us as children already And hold our hand "until you get over your rage I will not let go of your hand"  hold VERY TIGHTLY "I will not leave your hand until you learn how you should calm down" i would fail despite that gesture  to understand what was happening and i could not receive love at that time because i have so much anger But the act she is doing is still that of HOLDING

Numbers

I know now the minute at which the sun sets and rises When I'm nervous I know the speed at which my heart runs when it floods I know the amount of water that overflowed in cusecs. The number of animals that are alive within some species The degrees by which the earth is heating and the exact amount of diminished magnetism. I have recorded the day and the time the GPS co-ordinates of when we grew apart the number of letters in goodbye as a faithful accountant of the heart I have no numbers on my loneliness the degree by which expression dumbed down and smiling and frowning became more similar like interpolated homotopic lines coefficients of a grey space of feelings.