Sometimes serious

i remember the day i realized advertising had poisoned everything that i knew the memetic microplastic of my time and decided to stop feeling emotions to stop being touched from one minute of people meeting at airports the garish climaxes of love and loss and then when my friends left a rube goldberg machine of going away and i decided to stop feeling emotions to stop being touched by departures at the chaotic trampoline made of  weak elastics of relationships and then the day that i realized  what i read in books is lies and decided to stop feeling emotions to stop being touched by characters that haven't existed in entirely made up worlds like a fever nightmare when you wake up with  your stomach pitted like a peach or an avocado and then the day i realized how inexpensive it is to feel and to cry and decided to stop feeling emotions  or getting attached to my own sorrow which spread occupying my whole sky every time i looked up and the day i realized every choice i made landed m

An unknown heaviness in the air as if each gas was a loaded isotope as if every little bit of water vapour were made instead with deuterium as if your arteries were clogged but  with lead instead of innocent fat. I go into a classroom. A wall of various faces detesting how the idea of education itself is premised upon hope even the criticism premised upon an imagined reuptake of the utopian flavor of control and how teaching criticism feels like an exercise in astrology when all fears come vaguely true in a vague amount of time for a vaguely coherent set of persons. the impossibility of knowing if THIS is dystopia today. is it today at 16.21 o clock? Are we failing to see or seeing too much, and who is scaffolding seeing? Is THIS specific imagination of the end true or is far and how likely would it be for us to survive and where and how far away and how far away from exactly what? Such a time that whole years are like nuclear isotopes of normal minutes loaded with extra neutrons in th