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unfeeling

i remember the day i realized

advertising had poisoned everything that i knew

the memetic microplastic of my time

and decided to stop feeling emotions

to stop being touched from one minute of

people meeting at airports

the garish climaxes of love and loss


and then when my friends left

a rube goldberg machine of going away

and i decided to stop feeling emotions

to stop being touched by departures

at the chaotic trampoline made of 

weak elastics of relationships


and then the day that i realized 

what i read in books is lies

and decided to stop feeling emotions

to stop being touched by characters that haven't existed

in entirely made up worlds

like a fever nightmare when you wake up with 

your stomach pitted like a peach or an avocado


and then the day i realized

how inexpensive it is to feel and to cry

and decided to stop feeling emotions 

or getting attached to my own sorrow

which spread occupying my whole sky

every time i looked up


and the day i realized every choice i made

landed me firmly onto a hair-thin bridge

with deep longing on all sides of the middle

and decided to stop feeling emotions

to stop being touched by nostalgia

and poetry


i am finally unfeeling

what is left of my personality

is stuffed in a sack made of milk-skin

ready to pour out like a hernia

and scatter everywhere

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