Unraveling

Some years making a family
Memories without interpretation
without commemoration,
without dissection and
interrogation about
intent and motive and result and desire.

The rest of life - trying to unravel
pin tendency to a possible event
in history long gone.

Some years looking ahead,
hoping, learning, being prepared
some years spent being assured
of the bleak chance of
anything going wrong.

The rest of life - trying to marvel
retrospectively
Pinning intent to a possible cause
making the present fathomable.

Some years spent in joy
with trees and pets
parents and friends
school and fear

The rest of life - trying to generate
a personality from known features
trying to dress, trying to make
the right faces, accents
that will be commensurate with those
childhood years.

Some years anticipating the corners
the doors and the windows
the limiting features of your life
the borders inside which you must color

The rest of it - a closer look
at what still wasn't within margins
the lines that still weren't straight
that were acceptable.

Some years spent wrapping open string
into a small ball that
many years will be spent unraveling.